I Miss

--Originally Posted April 10, 2006 on Myspace --

I miss the days when going online required a trip to grandmas house
The days when going online was a rare, and thrilling event for me.
I could meet new people, see new things, and be forever fascinated by all that the internet was.

I miss the days when I could have fun! The days back at the old car-lot, where I would sit in an unused office (my office!) and play on the computer. An old 386 that barely ran Windows 95. But it was mine, my first computer. I loved it. I learned most of what I know based on that PC. I was eager to take it apart, and build it back up. Getting a new soundcard, was the most amazing thing ever. My windows could finally talk!

The days when worrying were limited to only, would I be able to do all the fun things I want today?
The days when playing a new computer game was the thrill of a lifetime.

Those days seem very distant now. I have trouble finding anything to satisfy my need to have fun. Newer games are too complex and involved to just sit, and play. And the older games have lost their appeal to me.

The days of playing Simcity (now called Simcity Classic, gosh that makes me old!) for hours on end, and never being sick of it.

So I sit here, listening to a hidden piece of music in Windows XP...wondering..what is their to do? Their must be something that interests me, but yet, what is it? I cant find it, no matter how hard I try. I sit and think, how boring my life has become. And I want to change that, really, I do. But how? What does one do, to change how their life has become?

Everyday I wake up, only to lay in bed. Why get up, I have nothing to do! And on the remote chance I could do something, I most likely dont feel well enough to actually do anything about it. It is an endless loop, one I try desperately to break free from. But it seems the harder I try to break free, the harder it pushes me back. It is a loop made from alien material, material that can not be broken.

So here I am, 3am. Lost. Confused...and bored!
Good day,
Justin